Encouragement vs. Praise: Why Encouragement Helps Children Thrive
- Georgina Gray
- Dec 23, 2025
- 4 min read
Many parents are taught to praise children’s achievements, but research shows that specific encouragement is often more effective than generic praise. For children of all ages (toddlers through teens), focusing on effort and process builds confidence. Utah State University notes that regular encouragement actually improves children’s behaviour[1]. In contrast, Carol Dweck’s studies (as cited by parenting experts) found that children praised for being “smart” tended to avoid challenges, whereas those praised for their effort chose harder tasks[2]. In other words, encouragement (which highlights what the child did) tends to foster self-motivation and pride in growth, while simple praise can leave children anxious about meeting expectations[3][2].
Praise vs. Encouragement: Key Differences
Figure 1: A parent encouraging a child during play, focusing on effort and progress rather than offering a generic compliment. Encouragement is specific and respectful, describing exactly what the child did. For example, instead of saying “That’s great!” (an empty phrase), a parent might say “You washed your hands with soap before dinner” – which tells the child what was good about their action[4].
In short, praise often just labels the child or outcome (“Good job, you’re wonderful!”), whereas encouragement “encourages the deed, not the doer”[5]. This means the feedback is about the child’s effort or process, not just their traits. Encouragement “contains more information for the child than… empty phrases like ‘That’s great!’”[4], so children understand exactly what they did well.
Why Encouragement Helps Children Grow
Encouragement builds a growth mindset and resilience in children. Dweck’s research (and summaries by parenting experts) shows that praising effort makes children more willing to take on challenges, while praising innate ability makes them risk-averse[2][6]. Bright Horizons explains that children who come to rely on praise “take fewer risks” to avoid losing their praiseworthy status, whereas focusing on effort teaches them that mistakes and hard work are part of learning[6].
Moreover, children raised with encouragement learn to evaluate themselves by their own merits[7]. Utah State’s extension notes that children who grow up hearing encouragement “tend to develop a stronger sense of self-motivation and pride in themselves, with less concern about pleasing others”[3]. In practice, this means encouraged children of all ages become more confident learners: they feel capable of trying difficult tasks and bouncing back from mistakes.
Strategies to Encourage Your Child
Figure 2: Celebrating effort (a high-five for a child’s hard work) provides immediate, concrete encouragement. Along with a smile or pat on the back, pair such gestures with words about their effort or process. For example, instead of “That’s beautiful,” say “I see you used lots of colours in this drawing” or ask the child what they enjoyed about it[8]. Noticing details like this avoids empty judgements and helps children internalise what they did well[8].
Over time, regular specific encouragement (describing what the child did) boosts intrinsic motivation and self-confidence[7][8].
Be specific and descriptive: Comment on exactly what the child did. Instead of “Good job!”, say “I see you put a lot of colour into that picture!” or “You put the blocks together neatly.” This tells the child what was good about their effort[8][9].
Praise effort and perseverance: Highlight hard work and persistence. For example, “You kept trying even when it was hard,” rather than “You’re so smart!” This reinforces that effort leads to success[2][10].
Use growth-mindset language: Emphasise learning and improvement. Frame challenges with “I can’t do it yet” or “You’ll get it with practice.” For instance, tell a struggling child, “I saw how hard you practised your reading. You’re learning to read better every day”[10].
Encourage frequently: Try to notice and comment on positive actions several times a day. Studies suggest giving children multiple pieces of encouragement daily helps reinforce positive behaviour[11]. Catch your child “being good” and describe it — this regular feedback teaches them to expect internal satisfaction rather than just external validation.
Stay sincere and respectful: Keep feedback honest and free of unnecessary flattery. Over-the-top or generic praise (like “You’re amazing at everything!”) can make children into “approval junkies” who depend on praise[12]. Instead, be genuine: encourage from the child’s point of view without judgement. Sincere encouragement shows respect for the child’s effort and builds true confidence[12].
Conclusion
In summary, encouragement — focusing on how a child learns and grows — is generally more powerful than generic praise. By highlighting specific efforts and progress, parents help children of all ages develop self-confidence, resilience, and a love of learning[7][12]. While a little praise feels good in the moment, true encouragement teaches children to value their own accomplishments and to keep trying. As one expert put it, encouragement leads to self-reflection and self-evaluation, setting children up for success even when they make mistakes[7][12].
Sources
Parenting and educational experts. Studies on growth mindset and child development (e.g. Carol Dweck’s research) have been summarised by institutions such as Utah State University Extension and educational resources[2][13][6]. These sources explain the benefits of encouragement over simple praise and offer practical tips for parents.
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